For the second time tonight I felt the pangs of guilt. I thought about what Diane said, how guilty she felt after sleeping with someone. I wondered if she felt more or less guilty than I feel right now.

This isn’t fair, I thought. I’m the injured party here, I shouldn’t feel guilty at all. I need to get on with my life. How am I going to do that if I feel guilty every time I enjoy someone’s company. Again, I pushed the guilt to the side and tried to concentrate on the feeling of elation that I felt with Cathy’s mouth engulfing my cock. I smiled to myself and took another sip of coffee.

The next month was actually kind of fun. I could feel myself getting closer to that happy-go-lucky guy I used to be. Diane seemed like she was finally accepting the fact that we were not going to get back together and we were getting to the point where we could talk to each other normally when I came to pick up the kids. I always had something exciting planned for the week-ends with Amy and Marsha and Cathy came over two or three times during the week to screw my brains out.

Even the weather was starting to break a little. Most of the snow and slush had melted and the temperature was above the freezing mark. You know what you haven’t done in a long time? I told myself. Gone out on a date. Yup, all the times Cathy and I were in bed together, and I’ve never taken her out on a date. That’s something I must remedy right now, I thought to myself.

I picked up my cell phone and hit the speed dial for her number. Cathy saw the I.D. "Hey baby," she said in her normal, upbeat tone of voice, "are you horny again already?"

"Well, now that you mention it, yeah, but that’s not what I’m calling you about," I said. I heard her chuckling on the other end.
"What are doing Wednesday evening?" I asked.

"Wednesday? Nothing that I can think of right now, babe, why?"

"Because I happened think, the closest thing we’ve had to a date was the one drink at Plato’s we had that first night together."

"A date, you want to take me out on a date? Aren’t you sweet," she said. "I’d love to out, where are you taking me?"

"Well, Cats is showing at the Blackstone. I thought we could grab a nice dinner down town then take in the play. After that, of course, go back to my place and fuck like bunnies."

Again she chuckled. "That sounds like a perfect evening to me," she said. "It’s a date."

I made all the arrangements and was looking forward to a great evening.

For a guy who’s job it is to look at beautiful women all day, I have to say I was flabbergasted when Cathy answered her door. I had never seen her all dressed up. Her blond, shoulder length hair framed her face to perfection. Her hazel blue eyes absolutely sparkled and it didn’t take a lot of imagination to realize she was wearing no underwear under that black, slinky dress.

"Holy cow, Cathy," I said, "you are…unbelievably…just breath takingly stunning."

The ends of her full lips went up and she broke into a wide smile. "Thank you, Dan."

The evening was going fantastic. The restaurant I picked out was romantic and elegant. The wine list was extensive and the food fit for a gourmet’s palate.

Cathy was absolutely charming. She was well versed on a variety of subjects and her sense of humor gave her a down-to-earth quality in spite of her extraordinary good looks.

Then it happened. My eyes were glued on Cathy so it was from her voice that I first realized Beverly and her husband Jim were standing next to our table.

"Dan," Beverly’s voice crackled, "I can’t believe this, the first time Jim has taking me out in six months and we run into you. How are you doing?"

Jim was an okay guy but I never liked Beverly. She and Diane had been friends since grade school so I was always pleasant to her but I just couldn’t stand her attitude. She was the most cynical person I ever saw. She could look into the face of an angel and find a pimple. She was also the person who was aware of Diane’s affairs and, I suspected, even encouraged them. That alone made me mistrust as well as dislike her.

Still being the gentleman my father taught me to be, I stood to greet them. "Bev, Jim, how are you?" I asked. Bev’s eyes immediately went to Cathy. "Cathy," I started the introductions, "this is Beverly and Jim Hall, two old friends."

Cathy batted her big blue eyes and put out her hand to greet them both. We all exchanged pleasantries and talked for a few minutes. Jim and Bev both expressed their sadness over the break-up of my marriage before they left for their own table and sat down.

Damn, I thought, of all the people who we could have run into tonight, they were the last I’d hoped to see. I wasn’t hiding the fact that I was dating but I didn’t want to rub Diane’s face in it either. Even though it would probably hurt her feelings, I knew Bev wouldn’t be able to contain herself and would surely tell Diane about seeing me with someone else.

The rest of the evening was unspoiled. I found out on the way home from the Blackstone, that Cathy had never been to the theatre before and had enjoyed her first experience immensely. Once we got back to my place she showed her gratitude in a different way and long into the night.

The following day, even though I had no shooting assignments scheduled, I had a very busy day. When you’re in business for yourself you sometimes have to wear many hats, salesman, secretary, wardrobe specialist, set designer, carpenter, photo editor, production manager, you name it. That Thursday I was all of those and more.

About three-thirty in the afternoon my cell phone rang. I could see by the display it was the home phone. "Hello," I answered.

"Daddy." I could tell immediately there was something wrong. It sounded like she was trying to hold back tears and keep from crying.

"Amy, honey what’s wrong!"

"Daddy," now I could hear her definitively crying, "could you come home?"

I wasn’t sure if she meant move back and live there again or just come to the house. "What’s the matter, honey," I said with urgency.

"Daddy, mommy’s in her bedroom crying and she won’t let me in. She’s been in there since we got home from school. I’m scared daddy, she just tells us to leave her alone for right now, but I’m scared. Can you please come home, daddy…please."

"Honey I’m leaving right now but it will be a little while before I can get there. Don’t worry honey, I’m sure your mother’s fine, just a little sad right now. Why don’t you get some milk and cookies for you and your sister. Don’t bother your mom until I get there honey, okay?"

"Okay daddy, but please hurry."

"I’m walking out the door right now honey, I’ll be there as fast as I can."

I hopped in my car and was on the north bound Kennedy in nothing flat. Damn, I thought, I know exactly what this is about. Good old Beverly couldn’t keep it to herself for even a day. I know damn well she told Diane all about seeing Cathy and me last night. Not only is that bitch cynical, I thought, but she’s sadistic as well.

When I walked into the house both girls ran to me and threw their arms around me with tears in their eyes. I asked if their mother had come down stairs yet and they said no. I tried to assure them that everything would be alright, but only seeing their mother without her crying was going to do that.

I went into the kitchen and fixed the kids a sandwich then helped them get started on their homework before going up stairs. When I reached the door to the bedroom I could hear Diane still sobbing. I knocked.

"Honey give mommy just a few more minutes, then I’ll come down and get us something to eat, okay?"

"Diane it’s me," I said through the closed door.

"Dan? What are you doing here?"

"Can I come in?"

I could hear her moving on the bed. "No, no don’t come in, I’m a mess, I don’t want you to see me like this," she said almost panicking.

I opened the door anyway and walked in. Diane was sitting on the bed with her face in her hands. I walked over and sat on the bed next to her.

"I’ve lost you for ever," she said almost mumbling through her sobs, "what have I done, what have I done?"

I put my arm around her and pulled her into me. I reached around with my left hand and gently pushed her head into my shoulder for support. With all the trauma the two of us had been through in the last several months, I had never seen her quite this distraught. I knew hearing about me with another woman would be hard for her, but I had no idea it would affect her like this.

We sat in silence for a good ten minutes until she started getting better control over herself. "I take it you talked to Bev today," I said.

"Yeah," she said in almost a whisper. "She said she saw you last night with an incredibly beautiful woman, much more beautiful and younger than me. Bev said she must have been a model."

"Now I can’t believe Bev would have said she was more beautiful than you."

"Well, she didn’t actually say that, but she describer to me," she said.

"Honey, I have said it many times before and I will say it with my dying breath, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. You were when I first saw you and you are today."

She hugged me tighter and held on for another few minutes. "Honey, you have to pull yourself together," I told her, "the kids are very worried. Amy called me at the studio and asked if I would come over. How about if I go down stairs and order a pizza for tonight while you freshen up. I’ll stick around and we’ll all have dinner together. How does that sound?"

She pulled her head from my shoulder and looked at me. Never since I had known her, had I ever seen Diane look so bad. She had no make-up on, her eyes were red and puffy, even her cute, little nose was red, swollen, and runny, in fact, her whole face was puffy.

"Okay," was all she said in a small, almost demure voice. She gave me a little kiss on the cheek then, ever so slightly, curled her lips up at the ends forcing a smile, before going into the bathroom to get cleaned up. I went back down stairs to face the kids again.

"Hey kids," I announced in a cheerful tone, "how about pizza tonight?"

"Yeah," yelled Marsha with exuberance.

Amy was a little less enthusiastic. "Are you going to stay with us, daddy?" I looked into her eyes and knew very well she wasn’t talking about dinner. Once again I had to ask myself if I was doing the right thing. I knew it was going to be hard on the kids, but I had no idea it would affect Diane like this. I had expected her to stay strong for the kids sake as well.

"I’m staying for dinner honey," I said with a phony smile, "You don’t think I’m going to miss pizza do you?"

"Is mommy coming down?" asked Marsha.

"Yes she is guys, she’s just getting cleaned up a little then she’ll be down to have dinner with us. So, who got an, "A" today?" I asked. Both of my smart young ladies held their hand up.
"Wow, good job," I said. "Okay, who got two, "A’s" today." This time only Marsha raised her hand. "Okay Marsha, you get to pick what you want on the pizza."

I ordered the pizza then sat down to help them with their homework. We were so engrossed with dividing fractions we didn’t realize Diane was behind us until Marsha saw her.

"Mommy," she said, jumping down from her chair and running over to her. Amy looked up and did the same. Diane knelt down to give them both hugs and kisses.

"Are you okay?" Amy asked her.

"Yes honey, I’m fine. I’m sorry I was so sad, I’m okay now." Once again she hugged both Amy and Marsha.

Diane sat down at the table and helped Marsha with her homework while I helped Amy with hers. It felt so comfortable, the four of us being together. I wished it could stay like this for ever.

Just as we were finishing with the homework the door bell rang. I walked to the front door and paid the pizza guy including a nice tip. I headed back to the kitchen and announced, "pizza delivery!"

"Yea," both kids yells as they voluntarily started setting the table.

It turned out to be a fun evening. Diane perked up some and, after dinner, the kids and I roughhoused in the living room. It was just like old times.

When it was time we both put the kids to bed. I pulled the covers up to their chins and tucked them in, then gave them each a big kiss on the forehead.

I was all set to take off when Diane asked if I could stay a few more minutes and offered to make me a vodka and tonic. She poured herself a small glass of wine and brought both drinks into the living room. We sat side by side on the couch.

"I’m sorry you had to come over like this," she said, "I hope you didn’t have to cancel any plans."

"No, I had no plans," I said. "I’m sorry you had to find out I was seeing someone from Bev. I probably should have called you after running into her last night, but I was hoping she’d at least have the sense to wait for awhile before saying something. I was going to tell you myself, in person when I picked up the kids this week-end."

"Yeah, I was feeling a little down to start with today, then when she called and told me she saw you with a young, beautiful woman…well, I just kind of went to pieces I guess."

Diane took a sip of her wine. "Bev said, to her, it looked like you two were very much in love. I know I shouldn’t ask but, do you love her, Dan?"

"You’re right Diane, you shouldn’t ask," I said. I couldn’t believe Bev told her that, "but I’m going to answer you anyway, just this once, no I don’t love her. She is someone who keeps me from getting too lonely."

She leaned her head against my shoulder. "Dan, is there any way I can make up for I did to you?"

"If you mean is there any way I would come back, the answer is no. I’m sorry Diane, as much as I would love to have my family back, there’s just too much hurt there. I could never do it. As far as making it up to me, just be a good mother. The girls need us both now more than they ever did. We need to give them every once of love and support we possibly can."

I finished my drink, gave her a light kiss on the lips and left. It had been an emotionally charged night. I was hoping Cathy would be waiting for me when I got home but no such luck.

I didn’t get a lot of sleep that night. I couldn’t shake the feeling that my whole family desperately needed me and I was letting them down. Four months after walking out and I was still going to sleep with tears in my eyes.

The next day I was busy again at the studio. The following week I had a two day shoot coming up and I was working with Jeff, a young set designer, who the ad agency sent over. As we were going over some sketches I heard the bell in the back room letting me know someone had come in the front door.

As I approached the front I was pleasantly surprised. There, looking absolutely ravishing, was Cathy. "Cathy," I called out to her, "what a great surprise, come on back." I motioned for her to come back to the shooting room.

"I thought I’d come down and see what a real studio looks like," she said as she walked in.

Cathy’s eyes were focused on me so she didn’t see the young set designer. "There were two other things I wanted to do as well," she said, "one, invite you to my birthday party next week and two, give you a hell-of-a blow job."

I cleared my throat and motioned toward the, now blushing, designer. "Oh," she said, "I’m sorry, I didn’t see you standing there. Did I embarrass you?" she joked. She looked back at me. "Does that mean I have to give him a blow job too?"

I thought the poor crimson colored young man was cream his jeans right then and there. "No Cathy," I said with a laugh. "Jeff, why don’t you go out for a coffee break," I said.

"Yes Mr. Taylor." The poor kid was so embarrassed he was out the door like he’d been shot from a cannon.

Cathy was giggling. "You can be evil when you want to be, can’t you," I said.

We went into my office in the back and I closed the door. "First things first," Cathy said as she reached for my belt. In no time she had me sitting in my chair with my pants around my ankles. She was licking my, already, hard shaft like it was a sucker. I leaned back in the chair and close my eyes to enjoy my paradise.
Cathy had a very talented mouth. I guess I’m a little over average in length but she had no trouble deep throating me. I felt her tongue twirl like a ballet dancer over the purple head of my manhood. I grasped the arms of the chair as she slid back and forth taking in the entire thing. She reached up and gently squeezed my balls.

For almost twenty minutes she manipulated my climax taking me right to the edge, then backing off several times. Finally she drove down the length of my shaft and back up with speed and force. It wasn’t long before I was erupting like a volcano sending wave after wave of cum down her gorgeous throat.

It took several minutes for me to get my breath. I looked down at Cathy who was sitting on the floor just looking up at me with broad smile. "Damn you do that well," I said. "How about tonight, would you like to do something?"

"No, I can’t tonight," she said, "I’m going out with Brad."

I just about swallowed my adam’s apple. "Brad," my voice raising in pitch from the shock, "who is Brad?"

"He’s kind of a on-again, off-again boyfriend," she said. She looked at me. "You’re not jealous are you? You know we never said anything about dating other people. I hope it’s not going to be a problem," she said.

She was right. We had never talked about being exclusive with one another. I really had no right to tell her she couldn’t date anyone else.

"No, it’s not really a problem, it’s just that you came out of nowhere with it."

"I’m sorry, I probably should have said something sooner. We just started dating again a couple of weeks ago."

"I see." I was still in a small state of shock. "I pick up my kids tomorrow morning and I’ll have them all week-end, how about Monday night?"

"I’ll have to see," she said, "I’ll call you during the day and let you know one way or the other," she said. "Don’t forget, Friday night, my place, eight o’clock, and bring your camera. I want lot’s and lot’s of pictures, Okay?"

"Okay," I said with a smile, "I’ll bring my camera."

Saturday morning, when I picked up the kids, Diane looked like her old self again. She was nicely dressed and had her usual, just enough, make-up on. She was pleasant and, I don’t know if I would say up-beat, but at least she wasn’t depressed.

Amy, Marsha, and I had a great time as usual. When I brought them home Sunday night they told their mother all about the big Ferris wheel we went on at Navy Pier. She smiled as she listened to the kids, then looked at me and gave me a wink. I’m not sure what that meant but it was cute.

Monday I was hoping to get a call from Cathy telling me she would be over for a night of carnal pleasures but I got nothing, not even the call she promised me.

Tuesday was the same thing, no Cathy, no call. By Wednesday I was getting a little pissed. The least she could do is call. I dialed her number but got her voice mail.

"Hey, remember me?" I said leaving a message, "You were going to call me Monday, this is Wednesday and no calls. What’s going on. Call me!"

About an hour later I got her call. "Hi honey, I’m so sorry, I’ve been so busy getting things ready for my party."

"I see," I said, "how is it going? Do you think you’ll be able to take a break long enough to come over and fuck me until my eyes bug out?" I said with a chuckle in my voice.

"Oh honey, I don’t know. I still have so much to do. Would you forgive me if I don’t make over there this week? I’ll make it up to you next week, I promise."

This wasn’t sounding good to me. First she springs a boyfriend on me, now she doesn’t have time to come over at all for the whole week. I was getting a bad feeling.

"Okay," I said rather abruptly, "I’ll see you Friday." I closed the phone. I had some thinking to do. Yes, we never discussed being exclusive with each other. It wasn’t like I was in love with her, I wasn’t, so I really had no right to even ask. For the first time I examined the possibility of a future for Cathy and me, but I didn’t see one. As much fun as we have in the sack, I knew there was no long-term relationship there. I would play it out and see where it goes, but I had a feeling it was coming to an end.

Friday night I arrived right at eight o’clock and was surprised to see so many cars there already. I took my camera, knocked and entered. The party was already in full swing. I couldn’t understand why she told me eight o’clock if it started earlier.

Cathy saw me from across the room. "Hey my photographer is here," she exclaimed.

She came over and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I leaned down and was going to kiss her back on the lips but she turned her head and I got a cheek as well. She took me around and introduced me to several people as her photographer. I was getting a little pissed.

"Is that all I’m doing here, Cathy?" I asked. "I thought I was invited as a guest."

"Oh, don’t be party pooper," she said, "I’m just having some fun, it’s my birthday."

It was her birthday so I thought, yeah, I guess I should lighten up a little, let her have some fun.

Then I was introduced to Brad. "Brad, this is Mr. Taylor. He’s my professor for the class on Creative Photography I’m taking. He’s going to take pictures tonight."

Brad extended his hand and I shook it, squeezing probably a little more than I should have.

"Damn professor," he said, "you’ve got quite a grip there."

"Oh I’m sorry Brad," I said almost sarcastically, "did I hurt you?"

"The drinks are over there," said Cathy, "help yourself."

I did just that. This is going to be a long night I thought. I walked around taking pictures of the guests. There were the usual stupid questions to answer, "What kind of camera do you use?" "Can I hold your models?" "Gee, can you really make a living taking pictures?" The same stupid stuff I usually get at functions like this.

I looked around to find Cathy. I was getting tire of this and I was getting read to leave. Several times I saw her with Brad and she had barely spoken to me since I arrived.

I went in to the kitchen looking for her and found her sitting on Brad’s lap giving him a very passionate kiss. I raised my camera and took a shot of them. I don’t even think they saw the flash, they were so engrossed.

I turned and went through living room and into the bedroom she had as a home office. I took the flash card from the camera and laid it on the table next to her computer. She can print her own damn pictures, I thought, then left.

The next day was Saturday. Cathy knew I had my kids but called anyway. I let it go to voice mail. She didn’t call again for the rest of the week-end and I didn’t listen to her voice mail until Monday.

"Hi Dan," she said rather bashfully. "You’re probably pretty pissed at me, huh. I’m sorry. Please call me."

I was going to see her in class later that night so I didn’t see any need to call her.

I didn’t really want to talk to Cathy. I knew what I was going to say and I hated to say it. We had been…well, I don’t know if you’d call it dating, but we had been screwing each other for about three months. During that time we really had nothing more than sex between us. There was no emotional feelings, not on my part and I was pretty sure after Friday night, not on hers either.

I needed more. I needed to find a woman I could love and who would love me back. I had made up my mind I would call it off with Cathy if she didn’t beat me to the punch.

I waited until everyone, including Cathy was seated before I entered the room. After class Cathy came up and asked if we could go for a drink. I declined.

"Listen, I’d like to apologize for Friday. I treated you like crap and I want to say I’m sorry," she said.

"Are you in love with Brad?" I asked.

"To tell you the truth, I don’t know. Sometimes I think he’s the greatest guy in the world, then he does something stupid and don’t want anything to do with him. I just don’t know. Even if I was though, that’s no excuse for how I treated you. I’m so sorry."

"Well you’re right there. It was no excuse for the way you treated me, right from the start, introducing me as your private photographer. I was pissed as soon as I walked in the door."

"I know, I know, I’m so sorry. Come on, let me buy you a drink."

"Cathy, I put up with Diane treating me like crap for a long time. I did it because of the kids and the fact that she was still my wife, but I won’t put up with it ever again. Can you understand that?"

"Yes, I understand. I knew when I saw the flash card you were really pissed off. I hope I didn’t hurt your feelings too much, I really do like you, Dan and I enjoyed every minute we spent together. Our date was the nicest date I’ve ever been on. You’re such a gentleman and you’re a wonderful guy. I just don’t know what I want yet. I’m sorry, Dan, I’m really sorry."

I believe a saw a tear in her eye as she left. I know there were plenty in my eyes again, by the time I got home. I just don’t understand it, I thought, several of my buddies as well as some of my married female friends, all tell me I’m such a catch. Then why am I having such a hard time with women lately?

Once again I sat in my favorite chair with a vodka and tonic in my hand, staring into the darkness, wallowing in my depression and feeling sorry for myself. For two cents, tonight I’d go home, curl up next to my wife, put my arms around her tell her I’m home. But then what would happen after that, I thought. And that is exactly the reason I can’t do it.

Tomorrow is Tuesday and I start that ad campaign. I’ll be shooting for three days straight so I guess I’d better get some rest, I thought, tomorrow’s another day.


I hope you liked this chapter enough to read the nest installment when I get it done. What other women will Dan have in his life. Will the find the one of his dreams?

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